As we get closer to my EDD, it's hard not to start freaking out about the cost of having two kids. Twice the amount of diapers, twice the amount of clothes and twice the amount of tuition! I know that Hashem will help provide a solution, but I still can't help but worry. The worrying is definitely not helping my stress level.
It's funny but the one thing I'm not stressed out about is introducing a new family member to our circle. I am confident in our parenting skills and feel we are being proactive about slowly getting our daughter acclimated (and excited!) to the prospect of having a new sibling. Both of us are looking forward to the positive challenge of parenting a new child with his/her unique personality and integrating them into our family. It will be fun!
Now if we could only find a way to afford the tuition....
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Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Women and their Crazy-ness
I think the title of this blog entry says it all. Funny how in retrospect, it's really easy to acknowledge my own crazy-ness and to even laugh at it. Here are all the details so that you too can laugh (or cry if you choose) at my crazy-ness.
So, we got home from our Pesach home (thanks again to the family for welcoming us and allowing us to mooch! :) ) on Wednesday night after work and I went to the doctor, came home, fed our daughter, put her to bed, went to a different doctor, came home and collapsed on the couch.
On Thursday, I went to work, picked up our daughter, went shopping for Shabbat, invited 3 friends for Seudah Shlishit (because I wasn't organized enough to have them over for an actual meal), came home, made dinner, fed our daughter, put her to bed, cooked 4 dishes for Shabbat (keep in mind, it was just the three of us for dinner and lunch) and collapsed in bed.
On Friday, I went to work, picked upour daughter (who was in the middle of her nap and NOT happy to be woken up), went food shopping (those last minute things are killer), came home, made the other four dishes for Shabbat, dealt with our daughter's breakdown (because she hadn't napped for long enough), bathed her, showered and lit candles. Two minutes before candle lighting, my husband's friend from yeshiva showed up on our doorstep; he was in the area for Shabbat and wanted to say hi. He got invited for Seudah Shlishit. Dinner was a quiet affair once we put our daughter to bed and I collapsed into bed around 9 something.
On Saturday, our daughter woke up at 6:30am, I fed her breakfast, spent time with her and woke my husband at 9:30am to say it was his turn to watch her, because I needed to go back to bed (I hadn't slept well at all). I napped for an hour and he woke me up when he got back from shul with our daughter. He had seen a friend of ours in shul who invited him to a kiddush club before lunch. I got up, got dressed, put our daughter down for a nap and got everything ready for lunch. Our friends didn't show up till 12:30pm, when we were sitting down to lunch, and when they did, they came to apologize for missing the kiddush club; they'd stayed longer at a friend's house then they meant to. They got invited to Seudah Shlishit.
After lunch, we took a walk to the nearby park; it was a little chilly but sunny outside. My daughter and husband had fun at the playground while I watched from a bench. Once we got back home, I tried to convince our daughter to take another nap with me, but she wasn't convinced, so I napped alone. My husband woke me up shortly before everyone was expected, so I started making food (tuna, veggies with dip, fruits etc). People came and went, but all in all, we had 6 adults and 1 child show up for Seudah Shlishit. (It's clear that I cook too much since we had enough food for everyone!) We put our daughter to bed and around havdalah time, everyone headed out for home.
I cleaned up the kitchen, loaded the dishwasher, called all my siblings and grandmother to take a tally of who was coming to our daughter's belated birthday lunch the next day, cleaned the floors, straightened up the living room (which had been demolished by the two little kids), went shopping for food for the birthday lunch, came home, made her's birthday cake and collapsed into bed.
On Sunday, I got up with our daughter, fed her breakfast, made a protein shake for myself, washed the floors, woke up my husband (so he could go to work), made breakfast for myself, cleaned the kitchen, finished decorating the cake, re-cleaned up the living room, went to take the tour of the OB area of the local hospital, headed to our daughter's checkup (where she cried hysterically because they gave her the MMR vaccine and did a blood prick for a lead test), came home, started making Triple-Cheese Spirals (from the April edition of "Food Network Magazine"), and was still doing that when everyone showed up. All told, we had 8 adults come for lunch and it was a lot of fun. Our daughter was fussy because she hadn't napped all day, but my family was happy to see her. By the time everyone headed out at 6pm, I was completely zonked and ready for bed, but she needed dinner, her school stuff needed to be put together for Monday, then we put her to bed, my husband made dinner so that I could sit on the couch with my feet up and then I went back to cleaning! I cleared the table, did all the dishes again, straightened up the kitchen and finally was able to sit down and figure out where I am!
After so many jam packed days, I look back and have come to the conclusion that I am crazy. Most people would agree, I think. It's actually kind of scary to read everything I've done in that time period and think, "Really? I did all that? At nine months pregnant? What was I thinking?" The worst part is that at the time, I felt like everything I did NEEDED to get done. When I analyze the situations now, I don't think it really did. I didn't need to prepare a home-made meal and cake for our daughter's birthday party, I didn't need to invite people over for Seudah Shlishit, I didn't need to do a lot of the other things I did either! But something inside me says "Why not do it? X did it." It's that competitive drive inside me (and inside many other women) that makes us compare ourselves to other women and push ourselves to our personal limits and beyond. The crazy part is that if we could only see inside those other women, we would probably see they only do it because they are comparing themselves to us.
So, we got home from our Pesach home (thanks again to the family for welcoming us and allowing us to mooch! :) ) on Wednesday night after work and I went to the doctor, came home, fed our daughter, put her to bed, went to a different doctor, came home and collapsed on the couch.
On Thursday, I went to work, picked up our daughter, went shopping for Shabbat, invited 3 friends for Seudah Shlishit (because I wasn't organized enough to have them over for an actual meal), came home, made dinner, fed our daughter, put her to bed, cooked 4 dishes for Shabbat (keep in mind, it was just the three of us for dinner and lunch) and collapsed in bed.
On Friday, I went to work, picked upour daughter (who was in the middle of her nap and NOT happy to be woken up), went food shopping (those last minute things are killer), came home, made the other four dishes for Shabbat, dealt with our daughter's breakdown (because she hadn't napped for long enough), bathed her, showered and lit candles. Two minutes before candle lighting, my husband's friend from yeshiva showed up on our doorstep; he was in the area for Shabbat and wanted to say hi. He got invited for Seudah Shlishit. Dinner was a quiet affair once we put our daughter to bed and I collapsed into bed around 9 something.
On Saturday, our daughter woke up at 6:30am, I fed her breakfast, spent time with her and woke my husband at 9:30am to say it was his turn to watch her, because I needed to go back to bed (I hadn't slept well at all). I napped for an hour and he woke me up when he got back from shul with our daughter. He had seen a friend of ours in shul who invited him to a kiddush club before lunch. I got up, got dressed, put our daughter down for a nap and got everything ready for lunch. Our friends didn't show up till 12:30pm, when we were sitting down to lunch, and when they did, they came to apologize for missing the kiddush club; they'd stayed longer at a friend's house then they meant to. They got invited to Seudah Shlishit.
After lunch, we took a walk to the nearby park; it was a little chilly but sunny outside. My daughter and husband had fun at the playground while I watched from a bench. Once we got back home, I tried to convince our daughter to take another nap with me, but she wasn't convinced, so I napped alone. My husband woke me up shortly before everyone was expected, so I started making food (tuna, veggies with dip, fruits etc). People came and went, but all in all, we had 6 adults and 1 child show up for Seudah Shlishit. (It's clear that I cook too much since we had enough food for everyone!) We put our daughter to bed and around havdalah time, everyone headed out for home.
I cleaned up the kitchen, loaded the dishwasher, called all my siblings and grandmother to take a tally of who was coming to our daughter's belated birthday lunch the next day, cleaned the floors, straightened up the living room (which had been demolished by the two little kids), went shopping for food for the birthday lunch, came home, made her's birthday cake and collapsed into bed.
On Sunday, I got up with our daughter, fed her breakfast, made a protein shake for myself, washed the floors, woke up my husband (so he could go to work), made breakfast for myself, cleaned the kitchen, finished decorating the cake, re-cleaned up the living room, went to take the tour of the OB area of the local hospital, headed to our daughter's checkup (where she cried hysterically because they gave her the MMR vaccine and did a blood prick for a lead test), came home, started making Triple-Cheese Spirals (from the April edition of "Food Network Magazine"), and was still doing that when everyone showed up. All told, we had 8 adults come for lunch and it was a lot of fun. Our daughter was fussy because she hadn't napped all day, but my family was happy to see her. By the time everyone headed out at 6pm, I was completely zonked and ready for bed, but she needed dinner, her school stuff needed to be put together for Monday, then we put her to bed, my husband made dinner so that I could sit on the couch with my feet up and then I went back to cleaning! I cleared the table, did all the dishes again, straightened up the kitchen and finally was able to sit down and figure out where I am!
After so many jam packed days, I look back and have come to the conclusion that I am crazy. Most people would agree, I think. It's actually kind of scary to read everything I've done in that time period and think, "Really? I did all that? At nine months pregnant? What was I thinking?" The worst part is that at the time, I felt like everything I did NEEDED to get done. When I analyze the situations now, I don't think it really did. I didn't need to prepare a home-made meal and cake for our daughter's birthday party, I didn't need to invite people over for Seudah Shlishit, I didn't need to do a lot of the other things I did either! But something inside me says "Why not do it? X did it." It's that competitive drive inside me (and inside many other women) that makes us compare ourselves to other women and push ourselves to our personal limits and beyond. The crazy part is that if we could only see inside those other women, we would probably see they only do it because they are comparing themselves to us.