This week was a bit crazy for me. I don't have anything specific I want to talk about, but feel like I need to decompress from the rush of it all.
My son was sick with the stomach flu from Saturday night through Wednesday, including a short stint in the hospital. Nerve wracking, scary and one of a parent's worst nightmares. In spite of the terrible circumstances, a lot of people worked to make it a little bit better, which was much appreciated!
I felt so torn during his hospital stay because he is so little and was so scared of being there. But my daughter was at home and I ignored her completely, leaving her well being in my husband's capable hands so that I could focus on him. I only felt guilty afterwards and I don't know why. The circumstances more than supported my decision but sometimes the weight of society's "super mom" complex sits more heavily on me than usual.
On the last day that he was sick, I had to go to work and he was so sad when I told him I was leaving. He said "No, stay with me!" and my heart just broke. It was one of those crystalizing moments for me; where I realized that no matter what I think, my heart and focus is and always has been on my family and not my career.
That night I came home and since we had determined he was going to school the next day, I focused on making cupcakes for him to take with him. (Monday was his birthday, poor guy!) He was so excited when I sent cupcakes to school with my daughter for her birthday and I wanted to give him the same experience. Unfortunately, I guess his stomach wasn't 100% because he told the teacher he didn't want a cupcake, he wanted a banana! As an aunt told me when I relayed this story, I've completely corrupted him! :D
I'll end this brief note with that cute story and just say that the most difficult of circumstances are when we see our true selves most clearly.
Friday, May 4, 2012
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Healthy Achievements
I've been on a relatively strict diet for about 6 weeks now and have lost about 13 pounds. (Still have about 12-17 more to go but it's a good start in my opinion!). It's not strict in that it restricts what you can eat, it simply counts your calories. What I realized after years of researching and trying diets is that they ALL revolve around calorie intake ultimately.
I approached this idea thinking that it's simplicity would make it easier to follow through on. It is easier to track how I'm eating for a day (I use the myfitnesspal.com app - highly recommend!) because there is no advanced math or conversion to another tracking system necessary. It didn't really change how difficult it is to start a new diet though.
For the first two weeks I was hungry all the time and in a bad mood because of it. I quickly realized that I couldn't eat the way I had been and simply reduce my calorie intake. My diet was peppered with junk food, snacking and no portion control. I've been too afraid to sit down and track it but I think I was consuming around 2,500-3,000 calories a day. Going from that to 1,200 calories was a struggle to say the least! I knew it would be impossible if I didn't change my eating habits as well.
I started making a large pot of vegetable soup on Sunday every week. I'd eat a bowl of soup with a chicken cutlet or an 100 calorie english muffin for lunch 3 days a week. I also started thinking outside the box for ways to increase my fruit and vegetable consumption. I'd make two scrambled eggs and put them over a bed of steamed broccoli and cauliflower. For a snack, I'd have an apple with a tablespoon of reduced fat peanut butter. Once I started changing my eating habits, it became easier to stay within my calorie guidelines and feel full.
I also became highly aware of portion size. Most chicken recipes say a portion is 3 or 4 ounces but one cutlet is usually 6-8 ounces from our brand. I started becoming strict about measuring out portions when I realized how many calories you can inadvertently eat by not watching your portion size.
I also realized how many calories we consume in drinks. Juices are VERY high in calories and don't offer most of the benefits a fresh fruit does. Soda is also extremely high in calories! When you are drinking your 64 ounces of liquid as soda or juice, that is a lot of extra calories. I started mixing 1/2 water and 1/2 Gatorade or Vitamin Water to get my water intake up while keeping the calories down.
The most important thing I started doing was cheating. I know that is usually a bad thing to do but when I look bad on my dieting attempts, I realized there is a common reaction. After about two weeks, I start to feel deprived, cheat and then feel so awful that I stop dieting altogether! Once I realized that this was my pattern, I decided to build "safe cheating" into the diet to protect myself from feeling deprived. It's very simple. I don't count calories on Saturdays. I eat dessert on those days and don't feel guilty. What I noticed is that because I eat so healthy the rest of the week, it spills over into Saturdays. My cravings for junk food are reduced and one day of desserts is fine. It hasn't hindered my weight loss and keeps me from falling off the wagon.
All in all, I'm proud of myself for hanging in this far and truly believe I can achieve my weight loss goals now!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
I approached this idea thinking that it's simplicity would make it easier to follow through on. It is easier to track how I'm eating for a day (I use the myfitnesspal.com app - highly recommend!) because there is no advanced math or conversion to another tracking system necessary. It didn't really change how difficult it is to start a new diet though.
For the first two weeks I was hungry all the time and in a bad mood because of it. I quickly realized that I couldn't eat the way I had been and simply reduce my calorie intake. My diet was peppered with junk food, snacking and no portion control. I've been too afraid to sit down and track it but I think I was consuming around 2,500-3,000 calories a day. Going from that to 1,200 calories was a struggle to say the least! I knew it would be impossible if I didn't change my eating habits as well.
I started making a large pot of vegetable soup on Sunday every week. I'd eat a bowl of soup with a chicken cutlet or an 100 calorie english muffin for lunch 3 days a week. I also started thinking outside the box for ways to increase my fruit and vegetable consumption. I'd make two scrambled eggs and put them over a bed of steamed broccoli and cauliflower. For a snack, I'd have an apple with a tablespoon of reduced fat peanut butter. Once I started changing my eating habits, it became easier to stay within my calorie guidelines and feel full.
I also became highly aware of portion size. Most chicken recipes say a portion is 3 or 4 ounces but one cutlet is usually 6-8 ounces from our brand. I started becoming strict about measuring out portions when I realized how many calories you can inadvertently eat by not watching your portion size.
I also realized how many calories we consume in drinks. Juices are VERY high in calories and don't offer most of the benefits a fresh fruit does. Soda is also extremely high in calories! When you are drinking your 64 ounces of liquid as soda or juice, that is a lot of extra calories. I started mixing 1/2 water and 1/2 Gatorade or Vitamin Water to get my water intake up while keeping the calories down.
The most important thing I started doing was cheating. I know that is usually a bad thing to do but when I look bad on my dieting attempts, I realized there is a common reaction. After about two weeks, I start to feel deprived, cheat and then feel so awful that I stop dieting altogether! Once I realized that this was my pattern, I decided to build "safe cheating" into the diet to protect myself from feeling deprived. It's very simple. I don't count calories on Saturdays. I eat dessert on those days and don't feel guilty. What I noticed is that because I eat so healthy the rest of the week, it spills over into Saturdays. My cravings for junk food are reduced and one day of desserts is fine. It hasn't hindered my weight loss and keeps me from falling off the wagon.
All in all, I'm proud of myself for hanging in this far and truly believe I can achieve my weight loss goals now!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Thanksgiving in pictures
Here's a photographic menu of the delicious food we ate on Thanksgiving!
Rub for Turkey
Basted turkey ready for cooking!
Roasted to perfection!
Asparagus and Red Peppers waiting to be roasted
Piping hot out of the oven!
Beautiful Romanesco Cauliflower!
Sauteed Romanesco Cauliflower with shallots and garlic
Mashed potatoes with sauteed onions and garlic
Thanks to all the family who came and helped cook, as well as everyone who came to eat!
Friday, November 18, 2011
Quick thoughts on Shabbat Candles
It's almost Shabbat and I've been thinking about the special part lighting candles play in welcoming Shabbat. Last week, my daughter asked me why we were lighting candles and my (off the cuff) answer of "So we know Shabbat is here" didn't seem to sit well with her. All week I've been replaying that scene in my head trying to think about how I could have answered her question differently and better.
On a very Kabbalistic level, I think that lighting candles at the start of Shabbat is supposed to remind us of two key things. The first would be that as we enter the day that Hashem sanctified by resting on, Hashem's light shines in every corner of our life, just as the light of the candles does. The deepest, darkest corners can become holy and sanctified in His light and when we transform them through our mitzvot. The second idea is that as we head into a day focused on Hashem, that we are not alone in this world. We have been tasked with being "a light unto the nations" and we need to remember that our actions, both good and bad, shine before the world.
On a the level that a 3 year old can relate to, lighting candles is a very public way to show the world that we are keeping Shabbat and Hashem's mitzvot. I can't change my response but this week when she asks me, I'll be better prepared to answer.
Shabbat shalom all!
On a very Kabbalistic level, I think that lighting candles at the start of Shabbat is supposed to remind us of two key things. The first would be that as we enter the day that Hashem sanctified by resting on, Hashem's light shines in every corner of our life, just as the light of the candles does. The deepest, darkest corners can become holy and sanctified in His light and when we transform them through our mitzvot. The second idea is that as we head into a day focused on Hashem, that we are not alone in this world. We have been tasked with being "a light unto the nations" and we need to remember that our actions, both good and bad, shine before the world.
On a the level that a 3 year old can relate to, lighting candles is a very public way to show the world that we are keeping Shabbat and Hashem's mitzvot. I can't change my response but this week when she asks me, I'll be better prepared to answer.
Shabbat shalom all!
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Crocheting and Emunah
Today I started the next big craze, crochet-walking! LOL
In all seriousness, I started a new baby blanket today and was so enraptured by the potential it contained, I couldn't put it down when I got off the bus this morning. Instead I continued to crochet as I walked the 9 blocks to work. In those 9 blocks, I didn't walk into anyone or into any objects and miraculously, I didn't have any run ins with NYC's infamous drivers.
As I walked home in the rain, I thought back to this morning. When I got to work, I was thinking "Nothing happened, as I predicted!". Looking back on my morning and those 9 blocks while walking them in the rain gave me a new view point on the experience though. Those 9 blocks were dangerous obstacle courses in the best of weather and situations. They are scattered with potholes, people weaving through the crowds, cars racing to make lights and constant construction! It made me start thinking about what is going through someone's head when they make a decision to do something dangerous and why they choose that option.
Everyone knows, logically, that texting while driving is incredibly dangerous. There have been studies done that show that an 18 year old's reflexes are slowed to the same pace as a 65 year old's when texting and driving. Unfortunately, there are many well publicized examples of terrible accidents caused by texting while driving. People still do it!
Not only do they continue to engage in what they know is dangerous, they justify it a little more every time they engage in it and nothing terrible happens. They think "See, I told you nothing would happen!". Here's where my mind turned to Emunah.
That little voice that says "I did it and nothing bad happened so nothing bad will ever happen when I do it." is the yetzer hara (evil inclination) talking. It's convincing us slowly over time that we are in control of every aspect of our life and that we are better than everyone else.
After we make a decision to do something dangerous, we have to consciously engage in teshuvah in order to correct it. We have to acknowledge that we aren't in control, Hashem is. Teshuvah is saying "Even though I made a poor decision that put myself in danger, I survived because Hashem protected me". We have to have Emunah that Hashem is trying to teach us something in every situation we come across and that if we can only learn His lesson, He will reward us.
In all seriousness, I started a new baby blanket today and was so enraptured by the potential it contained, I couldn't put it down when I got off the bus this morning. Instead I continued to crochet as I walked the 9 blocks to work. In those 9 blocks, I didn't walk into anyone or into any objects and miraculously, I didn't have any run ins with NYC's infamous drivers.
As I walked home in the rain, I thought back to this morning. When I got to work, I was thinking "Nothing happened, as I predicted!". Looking back on my morning and those 9 blocks while walking them in the rain gave me a new view point on the experience though. Those 9 blocks were dangerous obstacle courses in the best of weather and situations. They are scattered with potholes, people weaving through the crowds, cars racing to make lights and constant construction! It made me start thinking about what is going through someone's head when they make a decision to do something dangerous and why they choose that option.
Everyone knows, logically, that texting while driving is incredibly dangerous. There have been studies done that show that an 18 year old's reflexes are slowed to the same pace as a 65 year old's when texting and driving. Unfortunately, there are many well publicized examples of terrible accidents caused by texting while driving. People still do it!
Not only do they continue to engage in what they know is dangerous, they justify it a little more every time they engage in it and nothing terrible happens. They think "See, I told you nothing would happen!". Here's where my mind turned to Emunah.
That little voice that says "I did it and nothing bad happened so nothing bad will ever happen when I do it." is the yetzer hara (evil inclination) talking. It's convincing us slowly over time that we are in control of every aspect of our life and that we are better than everyone else.
After we make a decision to do something dangerous, we have to consciously engage in teshuvah in order to correct it. We have to acknowledge that we aren't in control, Hashem is. Teshuvah is saying "Even though I made a poor decision that put myself in danger, I survived because Hashem protected me". We have to have Emunah that Hashem is trying to teach us something in every situation we come across and that if we can only learn His lesson, He will reward us.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Parenting Lessons Part One
I was in the car on Friday morning and it was one of those run-of-the-mill mornings. One that goes according to plan and you forget it shortly afterwards. Nothing spectacular has happened and nothing devastating has happened either.
Both kids were with me and we were on our way to school. While I was driving, I asked my daughter of she wanted to listen to music. She got all excited and said "Yeah! The challah song!". I asked if she knew was day it was and in an even louder voice she said "Yeah! Shabbat!". I smiled and thought about how great it was to see her so excited. She proceeded to tell me who the Shabbat Ima was that week in her class and sing through her songs. I got into the spirit and started singing with her. Then her singing got REALLY loud!
I realized that I had been missing out on an essential part of parenting; the part where you instill joy in your child for mitzvot. I realized that I fell victim to something very common for parents, responsibility. I got caught up in the day-to-day responsibilities of being a parent, like feeding, clothing, bathing, taking them to school etc, and had lost sight of the most important things we are supposed to teach them. We are in a rush to get to work and forget that allowing them to dress themselves is an important skill we need to teach. We bring them to school and forget to teach them that to love to learn.
With this realization, I sang even louder and we spent the rest of the car ride talking about how excited for Shabbat we were. Yes, getting them to school is an important first step. But parenting shouldn't stop there and I won't let it. May we all have the patience and understanding to become the parents we want to become.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Both kids were with me and we were on our way to school. While I was driving, I asked my daughter of she wanted to listen to music. She got all excited and said "Yeah! The challah song!". I asked if she knew was day it was and in an even louder voice she said "Yeah! Shabbat!". I smiled and thought about how great it was to see her so excited. She proceeded to tell me who the Shabbat Ima was that week in her class and sing through her songs. I got into the spirit and started singing with her. Then her singing got REALLY loud!
I realized that I had been missing out on an essential part of parenting; the part where you instill joy in your child for mitzvot. I realized that I fell victim to something very common for parents, responsibility. I got caught up in the day-to-day responsibilities of being a parent, like feeding, clothing, bathing, taking them to school etc, and had lost sight of the most important things we are supposed to teach them. We are in a rush to get to work and forget that allowing them to dress themselves is an important skill we need to teach. We bring them to school and forget to teach them that to love to learn.
With this realization, I sang even louder and we spent the rest of the car ride talking about how excited for Shabbat we were. Yes, getting them to school is an important first step. But parenting shouldn't stop there and I won't let it. May we all have the patience and understanding to become the parents we want to become.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone