Thursday, October 7, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
Fun in the Kitchen
This week has been a little crazy but I had the chance to play around in the kitchen on Wednesday and Thursday. I had a lot of fun using the time to make some new recipes from scratch!
On Wednesday I started with sautéed chicken breasts that my mother-in-law had made as a base for dinner. I turned that into what I'm calling "Farmers Market Chicken" because I mostly looked in the fridge and used the veggies we had. I cooked ziti and seasoned it with a little olive oil to keep it from sticking. I cubed the chicken breasts. Then I took the two peppers, onion, and broccoli we had and sautéed that with some minced garlic, salt and pepper. I mixed the vegetables, pasta and chicken and threw some honey Dijon dressing on top for taste. For an experiment, it was really yummy!
On Thursday, I knew I wanted to use this whole wheat pizza dough we buy at Trader Joe's. At $0.99 a pound, it's a steal and I buy several so I can keep some in my freezer and take them out when I'm ready to use them. I came up with this recipe, which I'm calling "Sephardi Style Chicken Calzone".
I cubed chicken breast and sautéed it with olive oil, cumin, turmeric, paprika, curry, salt and pepper. Then I par boiled miniature potatoes, drained and cooled them. Once they were cool, I quartered them. I cut up 2 onions and sautéed them in the dirty chicken pan so I could scrape the seasonings out of the pan. I rolled the dough out into a long rectangle, and layered onions, chicken and potatoes over half it. Then I folded the other half over the chicken, potatoes and onions and pinched the edges together. Baked it for 12 minutes on 450 degrees and it was done. I made one large calzone from each pound of dough because I was pressed for time but this recipe would be better if the pound of dough was split up into 3 or 4 pieces and individual calzones made.
All in all, the recipes came out yummy and the eating was good! :)
On Wednesday I started with sautéed chicken breasts that my mother-in-law had made as a base for dinner. I turned that into what I'm calling "Farmers Market Chicken" because I mostly looked in the fridge and used the veggies we had. I cooked ziti and seasoned it with a little olive oil to keep it from sticking. I cubed the chicken breasts. Then I took the two peppers, onion, and broccoli we had and sautéed that with some minced garlic, salt and pepper. I mixed the vegetables, pasta and chicken and threw some honey Dijon dressing on top for taste. For an experiment, it was really yummy!
On Thursday, I knew I wanted to use this whole wheat pizza dough we buy at Trader Joe's. At $0.99 a pound, it's a steal and I buy several so I can keep some in my freezer and take them out when I'm ready to use them. I came up with this recipe, which I'm calling "Sephardi Style Chicken Calzone".
I cubed chicken breast and sautéed it with olive oil, cumin, turmeric, paprika, curry, salt and pepper. Then I par boiled miniature potatoes, drained and cooled them. Once they were cool, I quartered them. I cut up 2 onions and sautéed them in the dirty chicken pan so I could scrape the seasonings out of the pan. I rolled the dough out into a long rectangle, and layered onions, chicken and potatoes over half it. Then I folded the other half over the chicken, potatoes and onions and pinched the edges together. Baked it for 12 minutes on 450 degrees and it was done. I made one large calzone from each pound of dough because I was pressed for time but this recipe would be better if the pound of dough was split up into 3 or 4 pieces and individual calzones made.
All in all, the recipes came out yummy and the eating was good! :)
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
A much needed break....
Taking a break from my job search led to this snuggle and picture! Unexpected and wonderful!
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Monday, August 30, 2010
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Life Changes and other stuff...
Life is complicated. Life is also unpredictable. I think that sometimes we start to take the blessings in our life for granted and G-d decides to shake things up a bit to make us understand that we need to see every blessing in our life for the beautiful thing that it is.
Maybe a little background would be helpful. Two months ago, we moved our family out of the tiny apartment we owned and into my in-laws house. We rented out our apartment and the idea was that this way we'd be able to save money and be able to buy a house. This was shortly after our son, D was born. My in-laws are fabulous people, but it was hard to be in someone else's house. Just when I started to feel like I was okay with the situation (my MIL and I figured out how to work together in the kitchen etc), we got hit with a doozy of an announcement, that I was being laid off.
The stress of looking for a job is one that most people experience at some point of their life. In my experience, looking for a job is hard enough when you have one to leave, but being in the position of needing a job and not having one while you are looking, is even more stressful. I'm a worrier by nature and there is a lot to worry about when it comes to looking for a job;
Quite honestly, my first reaction was to flip out. I was stressed and super upset. My second reaction was also to flip out! And yet, being in the position of being laid off for the first time, I find myself calming down and breathing deep. My husband has been extremely supportive and helpful, which has done huge things for my stress levels. And I read a blog of a friend, frumdoula.blogspot.com, who wrote about being able to realize we aren't in control. G-d is.
Part of the magic of being a parent to a young child is that they are able to see G-d everywhere. They see and understand that a butterfly is a miracle, that G-d is giving us a blessing in the form of a summer shower and that slowing down for a snuggle with them is often the best medicine you can be prescribed. Our daughter, A, has noticed that I'm more stressed out and has taken to giving me random hugs. When I pick up D, he always seems to be smiling that special smile, the one he reserves for me. And with their help, I am able to take a deep breath and remember that G-d has a plan for us. He is in the driver's seat, so I can enjoy the scenery with the kids.
Maybe a little background would be helpful. Two months ago, we moved our family out of the tiny apartment we owned and into my in-laws house. We rented out our apartment and the idea was that this way we'd be able to save money and be able to buy a house. This was shortly after our son, D was born. My in-laws are fabulous people, but it was hard to be in someone else's house. Just when I started to feel like I was okay with the situation (my MIL and I figured out how to work together in the kitchen etc), we got hit with a doozy of an announcement, that I was being laid off.
The stress of looking for a job is one that most people experience at some point of their life. In my experience, looking for a job is hard enough when you have one to leave, but being in the position of needing a job and not having one while you are looking, is even more stressful. I'm a worrier by nature and there is a lot to worry about when it comes to looking for a job;
- will people respond to your emails/phone calls,
- will you get interviews,
- how do you look,
- how do you sound,
- did you prepare enough,
- are you capable of doing the job,
- what will they say when you tell them you need to leave early for religious reasons,
- will you like working there,
- are the benefits what you need,
- is the compensation what you need etc!
Quite honestly, my first reaction was to flip out. I was stressed and super upset. My second reaction was also to flip out! And yet, being in the position of being laid off for the first time, I find myself calming down and breathing deep. My husband has been extremely supportive and helpful, which has done huge things for my stress levels. And I read a blog of a friend, frumdoula.blogspot.com, who wrote about being able to realize we aren't in control. G-d is.
Part of the magic of being a parent to a young child is that they are able to see G-d everywhere. They see and understand that a butterfly is a miracle, that G-d is giving us a blessing in the form of a summer shower and that slowing down for a snuggle with them is often the best medicine you can be prescribed. Our daughter, A, has noticed that I'm more stressed out and has taken to giving me random hugs. When I pick up D, he always seems to be smiling that special smile, the one he reserves for me. And with their help, I am able to take a deep breath and remember that G-d has a plan for us. He is in the driver's seat, so I can enjoy the scenery with the kids.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Return to the daily grind
So that time that all new, working mothers dread has arrived. Maternity leave is over and it's back to the daily grind. Being back at work brings it's own set of problems and blessings to an already groaning table. As I muddle through my first day back at work, I can't help but look at the day and reflect.
Yesterday I was a mess. I was nervous about everything; from what to wear, getting the kids out of the house on time, forgetting my key to the office, (which I did and it caused me to be locked out for 20 minutes!) to leaving my son at daycare for the first time. Even though I've already done all this with my daughter, it's presented new challenges this time around. Instead of being worried about pumping, I'm worried about having the energy to be an Ima to be two beautiful children after working all day. Fortunately (and unfortunately!), I fall back into the routine of pumping every three hours easily.
This time, I'm not alone in my quest to give my son only breastmilk, as a friend and I sit in the pumping room, a divider between us, and chat as we pump. Work is slow in the morning and quickly picks up steam once my emails and voicemails are returned to me. Lunch with another friend is a welcome diversion as we escape the freezing office to sit outside on this hot summer day and eat our lunch. It feels like I'm falling into a work routine too easily, but then I stop to think for a moment and the feeling of missing my kids overwhelms me.
While I was home with both kids, every day was a battle. Lines were drawn, battles picked and by night, my energy was gone. It was depressing to find that after years of wishing to be a stay at home Ima, that I didn't have what it took. After long talks with my husband, I found that it didn't have to be that black and white. There was a middle ground to be found because as much as I couldn't cope with going from a "full time working Ima" to a "stay at home Ima" without a transition, I couldn't expect my daughter to go from a completely scheduled and social environment to being with me all day without a transition either.
The upsides to being back at work are nice. I get to see my friends everyday, we have a predictable routine and I'm pitching in to help us succeed in a very real way. Seeing my friends everyday is so nice and helps me feel connected (which is often downplayed in this technological day and age!). Having a predictable routine allows me to use my energy more effectively (something most Imas can't get enough of!) because I know what to expect for the rest of the day. And bringing home income helps me feel less stressed about our monetary situation.
And even with all this, being back at work has really made me realize that even though it will be hard, I do want to be a "stay at home Ima", with all that entails.
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Yesterday I was a mess. I was nervous about everything; from what to wear, getting the kids out of the house on time, forgetting my key to the office, (which I did and it caused me to be locked out for 20 minutes!) to leaving my son at daycare for the first time. Even though I've already done all this with my daughter, it's presented new challenges this time around. Instead of being worried about pumping, I'm worried about having the energy to be an Ima to be two beautiful children after working all day. Fortunately (and unfortunately!), I fall back into the routine of pumping every three hours easily.
This time, I'm not alone in my quest to give my son only breastmilk, as a friend and I sit in the pumping room, a divider between us, and chat as we pump. Work is slow in the morning and quickly picks up steam once my emails and voicemails are returned to me. Lunch with another friend is a welcome diversion as we escape the freezing office to sit outside on this hot summer day and eat our lunch. It feels like I'm falling into a work routine too easily, but then I stop to think for a moment and the feeling of missing my kids overwhelms me.
While I was home with both kids, every day was a battle. Lines were drawn, battles picked and by night, my energy was gone. It was depressing to find that after years of wishing to be a stay at home Ima, that I didn't have what it took. After long talks with my husband, I found that it didn't have to be that black and white. There was a middle ground to be found because as much as I couldn't cope with going from a "full time working Ima" to a "stay at home Ima" without a transition, I couldn't expect my daughter to go from a completely scheduled and social environment to being with me all day without a transition either.
The upsides to being back at work are nice. I get to see my friends everyday, we have a predictable routine and I'm pitching in to help us succeed in a very real way. Seeing my friends everyday is so nice and helps me feel connected (which is often downplayed in this technological day and age!). Having a predictable routine allows me to use my energy more effectively (something most Imas can't get enough of!) because I know what to expect for the rest of the day. And bringing home income helps me feel less stressed about our monetary situation.
And even with all this, being back at work has really made me realize that even though it will be hard, I do want to be a "stay at home Ima", with all that entails.
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Monday, June 28, 2010
Potty training boot camp
Well, I've been thinking about doing it for a while now and I've come to the conclusion that the time has arrived to put my daughter through a potty training boot camp. Now is the perfect storm for it!
The timing now is working out wonderfully.
1. She just finished school and is off until I return to work in a few weeks. (I have the time to spend dedicated to making sure she goes to the bathroom!)
2. She's been peeing on the potty consistently for the last few months but this weekend, she spontaneously started having bowel movements on the potty too. (I was starting to have nightmares about all the kids that refuse to use the potty for bowel movements!)
3. She noticed that adults wear underwear and she wants to as well. (I want to skip the pull ups stage anyways, I think it just makes the training harder and they are really expensive!)
So, tomorrow's mission is to buy underwear and start our journey! Hopefully it won't be too long or hard and I can't wait to be back to only having one kid in diapers!
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The timing now is working out wonderfully.
1. She just finished school and is off until I return to work in a few weeks. (I have the time to spend dedicated to making sure she goes to the bathroom!)
2. She's been peeing on the potty consistently for the last few months but this weekend, she spontaneously started having bowel movements on the potty too. (I was starting to have nightmares about all the kids that refuse to use the potty for bowel movements!)
3. She noticed that adults wear underwear and she wants to as well. (I want to skip the pull ups stage anyways, I think it just makes the training harder and they are really expensive!)
So, tomorrow's mission is to buy underwear and start our journey! Hopefully it won't be too long or hard and I can't wait to be back to only having one kid in diapers!
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Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Potty Training?
So, we've begun the process of potty training our daughter. It started out about 4 months ago with a interest in sitting on the potty (after watching me!) and for the last few weeks, she's been going to the bathroom on the potty every night before heading to bed.
We haven't gotten to the "pull up" stage (and quite honestly, I'm hoping to skip it!) or the big girl underwear stage yet, mostly because we thought it best to get past the current turmoil (new sibling- brother and moving) before trying get her into the final stage. She proved today that she's ahead of us however!
She went to the bathroom ALL day today and only had diaper changes when she first woke up and when she had a bowel movement. (Not sure how to tackle that one yet; when asked if she was going poop she said yes but didn't want to sit on the potty...) I consider this a huge success and am surprised she did it on her own!
The wonder of kids is that they are constantly surprising you; good or bad, it's still a surprise! :)
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We haven't gotten to the "pull up" stage (and quite honestly, I'm hoping to skip it!) or the big girl underwear stage yet, mostly because we thought it best to get past the current turmoil (new sibling- brother and moving) before trying get her into the final stage. She proved today that she's ahead of us however!
She went to the bathroom ALL day today and only had diaper changes when she first woke up and when she had a bowel movement. (Not sure how to tackle that one yet; when asked if she was going poop she said yes but didn't want to sit on the potty...) I consider this a huge success and am surprised she did it on her own!
The wonder of kids is that they are constantly surprising you; good or bad, it's still a surprise! :)
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Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Shabbat Baby!
Well, I successfully delivered a VBAC baby boy on 4/30! Born at 11:22pm, weighing in at 7 pounds 11 ounces and 19.5 inches tall; there aren't words to describe how different his birth was from that of my daughter.
Labor with my daughter consisted of 30 hours of labor; 6 of which were spent pushing, no pain meds but constant access to a birthing tub, laboring in the privacy of my home and delivering via emergency c-section after fetal distress. The doctor who did the c-section said she had a short cord that was wrapped around her neck that was pulling her back after every contraction.
This time around, labor was start-and-stop for a week solid (also know as false labor). It's emotionally and physically trying. Everytime contractions would strengthen and speed up, I would try not to get excited but it was hard not to, after 9 months of being pregnant! My midwife was awesome and not only came to check me each time I called to say I thought things were picking up, she listened to me vent my frustrations and was extremely supportive. Finally, I woke up on 4/30 with contractions 3 minutes apart lasting about 45 seconds. We labored at home (with my midwife checking me every few hours) till 4pm, when we decided to head to the hospital. Labor flew by and by 10:30pm I was fully dilated and started pushing. After an hour of pushing, I delivered a beautiful baby boy!
Since there were no complications, I got to hold him right away and nurse him shortly after. It was wonderful to have that Shabbat by ourselves and not have to worry about calling everyone right away. I did miss our darling daughter though (who was staying with my in laws once we realized this was real labor).
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Labor with my daughter consisted of 30 hours of labor; 6 of which were spent pushing, no pain meds but constant access to a birthing tub, laboring in the privacy of my home and delivering via emergency c-section after fetal distress. The doctor who did the c-section said she had a short cord that was wrapped around her neck that was pulling her back after every contraction.
This time around, labor was start-and-stop for a week solid (also know as false labor). It's emotionally and physically trying. Everytime contractions would strengthen and speed up, I would try not to get excited but it was hard not to, after 9 months of being pregnant! My midwife was awesome and not only came to check me each time I called to say I thought things were picking up, she listened to me vent my frustrations and was extremely supportive. Finally, I woke up on 4/30 with contractions 3 minutes apart lasting about 45 seconds. We labored at home (with my midwife checking me every few hours) till 4pm, when we decided to head to the hospital. Labor flew by and by 10:30pm I was fully dilated and started pushing. After an hour of pushing, I delivered a beautiful baby boy!
Since there were no complications, I got to hold him right away and nurse him shortly after. It was wonderful to have that Shabbat by ourselves and not have to worry about calling everyone right away. I did miss our darling daughter though (who was staying with my in laws once we realized this was real labor).
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Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Challenges
As we get closer to my EDD, it's hard not to start freaking out about the cost of having two kids. Twice the amount of diapers, twice the amount of clothes and twice the amount of tuition! I know that Hashem will help provide a solution, but I still can't help but worry. The worrying is definitely not helping my stress level.
It's funny but the one thing I'm not stressed out about is introducing a new family member to our circle. I am confident in our parenting skills and feel we are being proactive about slowly getting our daughter acclimated (and excited!) to the prospect of having a new sibling. Both of us are looking forward to the positive challenge of parenting a new child with his/her unique personality and integrating them into our family. It will be fun!
Now if we could only find a way to afford the tuition....
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It's funny but the one thing I'm not stressed out about is introducing a new family member to our circle. I am confident in our parenting skills and feel we are being proactive about slowly getting our daughter acclimated (and excited!) to the prospect of having a new sibling. Both of us are looking forward to the positive challenge of parenting a new child with his/her unique personality and integrating them into our family. It will be fun!
Now if we could only find a way to afford the tuition....
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Sunday, April 11, 2010
Women and their Crazy-ness
I think the title of this blog entry says it all. Funny how in retrospect, it's really easy to acknowledge my own crazy-ness and to even laugh at it. Here are all the details so that you too can laugh (or cry if you choose) at my crazy-ness.
So, we got home from our Pesach home (thanks again to the family for welcoming us and allowing us to mooch! :) ) on Wednesday night after work and I went to the doctor, came home, fed our daughter, put her to bed, went to a different doctor, came home and collapsed on the couch.
On Thursday, I went to work, picked up our daughter, went shopping for Shabbat, invited 3 friends for Seudah Shlishit (because I wasn't organized enough to have them over for an actual meal), came home, made dinner, fed our daughter, put her to bed, cooked 4 dishes for Shabbat (keep in mind, it was just the three of us for dinner and lunch) and collapsed in bed.
On Friday, I went to work, picked upour daughter (who was in the middle of her nap and NOT happy to be woken up), went food shopping (those last minute things are killer), came home, made the other four dishes for Shabbat, dealt with our daughter's breakdown (because she hadn't napped for long enough), bathed her, showered and lit candles. Two minutes before candle lighting, my husband's friend from yeshiva showed up on our doorstep; he was in the area for Shabbat and wanted to say hi. He got invited for Seudah Shlishit. Dinner was a quiet affair once we put our daughter to bed and I collapsed into bed around 9 something.
On Saturday, our daughter woke up at 6:30am, I fed her breakfast, spent time with her and woke my husband at 9:30am to say it was his turn to watch her, because I needed to go back to bed (I hadn't slept well at all). I napped for an hour and he woke me up when he got back from shul with our daughter. He had seen a friend of ours in shul who invited him to a kiddush club before lunch. I got up, got dressed, put our daughter down for a nap and got everything ready for lunch. Our friends didn't show up till 12:30pm, when we were sitting down to lunch, and when they did, they came to apologize for missing the kiddush club; they'd stayed longer at a friend's house then they meant to. They got invited to Seudah Shlishit.
After lunch, we took a walk to the nearby park; it was a little chilly but sunny outside. My daughter and husband had fun at the playground while I watched from a bench. Once we got back home, I tried to convince our daughter to take another nap with me, but she wasn't convinced, so I napped alone. My husband woke me up shortly before everyone was expected, so I started making food (tuna, veggies with dip, fruits etc). People came and went, but all in all, we had 6 adults and 1 child show up for Seudah Shlishit. (It's clear that I cook too much since we had enough food for everyone!) We put our daughter to bed and around havdalah time, everyone headed out for home.
I cleaned up the kitchen, loaded the dishwasher, called all my siblings and grandmother to take a tally of who was coming to our daughter's belated birthday lunch the next day, cleaned the floors, straightened up the living room (which had been demolished by the two little kids), went shopping for food for the birthday lunch, came home, made her's birthday cake and collapsed into bed.
On Sunday, I got up with our daughter, fed her breakfast, made a protein shake for myself, washed the floors, woke up my husband (so he could go to work), made breakfast for myself, cleaned the kitchen, finished decorating the cake, re-cleaned up the living room, went to take the tour of the OB area of the local hospital, headed to our daughter's checkup (where she cried hysterically because they gave her the MMR vaccine and did a blood prick for a lead test), came home, started making Triple-Cheese Spirals (from the April edition of "Food Network Magazine"), and was still doing that when everyone showed up. All told, we had 8 adults come for lunch and it was a lot of fun. Our daughter was fussy because she hadn't napped all day, but my family was happy to see her. By the time everyone headed out at 6pm, I was completely zonked and ready for bed, but she needed dinner, her school stuff needed to be put together for Monday, then we put her to bed, my husband made dinner so that I could sit on the couch with my feet up and then I went back to cleaning! I cleared the table, did all the dishes again, straightened up the kitchen and finally was able to sit down and figure out where I am!
After so many jam packed days, I look back and have come to the conclusion that I am crazy. Most people would agree, I think. It's actually kind of scary to read everything I've done in that time period and think, "Really? I did all that? At nine months pregnant? What was I thinking?" The worst part is that at the time, I felt like everything I did NEEDED to get done. When I analyze the situations now, I don't think it really did. I didn't need to prepare a home-made meal and cake for our daughter's birthday party, I didn't need to invite people over for Seudah Shlishit, I didn't need to do a lot of the other things I did either! But something inside me says "Why not do it? X did it." It's that competitive drive inside me (and inside many other women) that makes us compare ourselves to other women and push ourselves to our personal limits and beyond. The crazy part is that if we could only see inside those other women, we would probably see they only do it because they are comparing themselves to us.
So, we got home from our Pesach home (thanks again to the family for welcoming us and allowing us to mooch! :) ) on Wednesday night after work and I went to the doctor, came home, fed our daughter, put her to bed, went to a different doctor, came home and collapsed on the couch.
On Thursday, I went to work, picked up our daughter, went shopping for Shabbat, invited 3 friends for Seudah Shlishit (because I wasn't organized enough to have them over for an actual meal), came home, made dinner, fed our daughter, put her to bed, cooked 4 dishes for Shabbat (keep in mind, it was just the three of us for dinner and lunch) and collapsed in bed.
On Friday, I went to work, picked upour daughter (who was in the middle of her nap and NOT happy to be woken up), went food shopping (those last minute things are killer), came home, made the other four dishes for Shabbat, dealt with our daughter's breakdown (because she hadn't napped for long enough), bathed her, showered and lit candles. Two minutes before candle lighting, my husband's friend from yeshiva showed up on our doorstep; he was in the area for Shabbat and wanted to say hi. He got invited for Seudah Shlishit. Dinner was a quiet affair once we put our daughter to bed and I collapsed into bed around 9 something.
On Saturday, our daughter woke up at 6:30am, I fed her breakfast, spent time with her and woke my husband at 9:30am to say it was his turn to watch her, because I needed to go back to bed (I hadn't slept well at all). I napped for an hour and he woke me up when he got back from shul with our daughter. He had seen a friend of ours in shul who invited him to a kiddush club before lunch. I got up, got dressed, put our daughter down for a nap and got everything ready for lunch. Our friends didn't show up till 12:30pm, when we were sitting down to lunch, and when they did, they came to apologize for missing the kiddush club; they'd stayed longer at a friend's house then they meant to. They got invited to Seudah Shlishit.
After lunch, we took a walk to the nearby park; it was a little chilly but sunny outside. My daughter and husband had fun at the playground while I watched from a bench. Once we got back home, I tried to convince our daughter to take another nap with me, but she wasn't convinced, so I napped alone. My husband woke me up shortly before everyone was expected, so I started making food (tuna, veggies with dip, fruits etc). People came and went, but all in all, we had 6 adults and 1 child show up for Seudah Shlishit. (It's clear that I cook too much since we had enough food for everyone!) We put our daughter to bed and around havdalah time, everyone headed out for home.
I cleaned up the kitchen, loaded the dishwasher, called all my siblings and grandmother to take a tally of who was coming to our daughter's belated birthday lunch the next day, cleaned the floors, straightened up the living room (which had been demolished by the two little kids), went shopping for food for the birthday lunch, came home, made her's birthday cake and collapsed into bed.
On Sunday, I got up with our daughter, fed her breakfast, made a protein shake for myself, washed the floors, woke up my husband (so he could go to work), made breakfast for myself, cleaned the kitchen, finished decorating the cake, re-cleaned up the living room, went to take the tour of the OB area of the local hospital, headed to our daughter's checkup (where she cried hysterically because they gave her the MMR vaccine and did a blood prick for a lead test), came home, started making Triple-Cheese Spirals (from the April edition of "Food Network Magazine"), and was still doing that when everyone showed up. All told, we had 8 adults come for lunch and it was a lot of fun. Our daughter was fussy because she hadn't napped all day, but my family was happy to see her. By the time everyone headed out at 6pm, I was completely zonked and ready for bed, but she needed dinner, her school stuff needed to be put together for Monday, then we put her to bed, my husband made dinner so that I could sit on the couch with my feet up and then I went back to cleaning! I cleared the table, did all the dishes again, straightened up the kitchen and finally was able to sit down and figure out where I am!
After so many jam packed days, I look back and have come to the conclusion that I am crazy. Most people would agree, I think. It's actually kind of scary to read everything I've done in that time period and think, "Really? I did all that? At nine months pregnant? What was I thinking?" The worst part is that at the time, I felt like everything I did NEEDED to get done. When I analyze the situations now, I don't think it really did. I didn't need to prepare a home-made meal and cake for our daughter's birthday party, I didn't need to invite people over for Seudah Shlishit, I didn't need to do a lot of the other things I did either! But something inside me says "Why not do it? X did it." It's that competitive drive inside me (and inside many other women) that makes us compare ourselves to other women and push ourselves to our personal limits and beyond. The crazy part is that if we could only see inside those other women, we would probably see they only do it because they are comparing themselves to us.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Lessons from this past month....
Well, this past month has been really crazy. I've spent lots of time getting ready for Pesach and making plans. Then at the last minute, everything is turned upside down! I'm not sure what to make of it, except to think that this is a sign from Hashem that I need to learn to "go with the flow" more and accept that my plans are just that, plans. They aren't set in stone, even though I'd like them to be!
Let me explain a little more.
In terms of cleaning; our apartment is quite small, so I decided to leave most of the cleaning until the week before. I straightened up the bedrooms and got them ready to be vacuumed. The Sunday before Pesach, I sat down with my husband and we made a schedule deciding who was going to clean what in each room and when it would be done. Sounds good right? It probably would have been if he hadn't gotten sick and our straightforward cleaning schedule got turned on it's head.
In terms of Pesach plans; we had coordinated with family to stay with them for the entire week, so that I wouldn't have to kasher my kitchen, buy and tovel new dishes and then worry about shopping and cooking food. (I really felt like at 8 months pregnant, this would have been a bit much for me to deal with!) We decided that we were going to go to the big family seder on the first night because it was important to be there and see everyone. Then we found out that the first seder got moved from Grandma's house to another family's house, on the other side of town. What was supposed to be a 1 mile walk, was now going to be a 2 mile walk. We discussed it and came to the realization that as much as it was important to go to the big family seder, we needed to realistic about whether it was a possibility for us this year; with me being 8 months pregnant and our daughter going to be at 7pm. It seemed like a logistical nightmare, and not a feasible plan. So we changed our plans at the last minute to attend a small family seder with cousins who were in a similar predicament.
In tems of daycare for our daughter; according to the calendar handed out at the beginning of the year, they were closed from erev Pesach till the day after Pesach ended. But during the week before, I noticed there was a sign on the classroom door that since some families were going away for Pesach and were leaving before Thursday, they'd be sending home their projects on Wednesday that week. I was a little confused and asked the teacher if that meant they were closed on Friday, she said yes. I was more than a little upset at having that sprung on me last minute and called the school administrator to find out what was going on. I left her a detailed message explaining my problem and asked her to call me back and clarify. That was on Wednesday. She hadn't called me back by Thursday afternoon, so I asked my husband to ask again when he picked up our daughter that night. Friday morning as I was getting ready for work, he said that he had forgotten to tell me but they were open that day! Good thing!
In terms of personal plans; we had bought tickets to a conference on 3/28 in Boston that a bunch of our friends were going to be attending also. We had decided that since we were going away for Pesach, this would be a good day to go, just the two of us and spend some alone time together before the new baby came. We arranged with my husband's siblings to watch our daughter for the day; the upside to this being that she would have the opportunity to get used to being without us for a whole day, since they'll be taking care of her when I'm in the hospital. But Sunday morning came and he was still sick, so we weren't able to go. Suffice it to say, I was bummed.
When I look back, it really feels like this whole month has been one long repetition of the same message; "LEARN TO GO WITH THE FLOW!" and even though I can see that, I don't feel like I've internalized it yet. It's hard to accept that despite all the hoping, researching, planning, and doing, things might not turn out how I want them to.
Let me explain a little more.
In terms of cleaning; our apartment is quite small, so I decided to leave most of the cleaning until the week before. I straightened up the bedrooms and got them ready to be vacuumed. The Sunday before Pesach, I sat down with my husband and we made a schedule deciding who was going to clean what in each room and when it would be done. Sounds good right? It probably would have been if he hadn't gotten sick and our straightforward cleaning schedule got turned on it's head.
In terms of Pesach plans; we had coordinated with family to stay with them for the entire week, so that I wouldn't have to kasher my kitchen, buy and tovel new dishes and then worry about shopping and cooking food. (I really felt like at 8 months pregnant, this would have been a bit much for me to deal with!) We decided that we were going to go to the big family seder on the first night because it was important to be there and see everyone. Then we found out that the first seder got moved from Grandma's house to another family's house, on the other side of town. What was supposed to be a 1 mile walk, was now going to be a 2 mile walk. We discussed it and came to the realization that as much as it was important to go to the big family seder, we needed to realistic about whether it was a possibility for us this year; with me being 8 months pregnant and our daughter going to be at 7pm. It seemed like a logistical nightmare, and not a feasible plan. So we changed our plans at the last minute to attend a small family seder with cousins who were in a similar predicament.
In tems of daycare for our daughter; according to the calendar handed out at the beginning of the year, they were closed from erev Pesach till the day after Pesach ended. But during the week before, I noticed there was a sign on the classroom door that since some families were going away for Pesach and were leaving before Thursday, they'd be sending home their projects on Wednesday that week. I was a little confused and asked the teacher if that meant they were closed on Friday, she said yes. I was more than a little upset at having that sprung on me last minute and called the school administrator to find out what was going on. I left her a detailed message explaining my problem and asked her to call me back and clarify. That was on Wednesday. She hadn't called me back by Thursday afternoon, so I asked my husband to ask again when he picked up our daughter that night. Friday morning as I was getting ready for work, he said that he had forgotten to tell me but they were open that day! Good thing!
In terms of personal plans; we had bought tickets to a conference on 3/28 in Boston that a bunch of our friends were going to be attending also. We had decided that since we were going away for Pesach, this would be a good day to go, just the two of us and spend some alone time together before the new baby came. We arranged with my husband's siblings to watch our daughter for the day; the upside to this being that she would have the opportunity to get used to being without us for a whole day, since they'll be taking care of her when I'm in the hospital. But Sunday morning came and he was still sick, so we weren't able to go. Suffice it to say, I was bummed.
When I look back, it really feels like this whole month has been one long repetition of the same message; "LEARN TO GO WITH THE FLOW!" and even though I can see that, I don't feel like I've internalized it yet. It's hard to accept that despite all the hoping, researching, planning, and doing, things might not turn out how I want them to.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Thoughts on Pregnancy
As the end of my time as an Ima-to-one nears and the beginning of my time as an Ima-to-two approaches, I've been doing a lot of thinking. I was very uncomfortable the other day, (this is a frequent event recently) and in my frustration, I asked myself why gestation in humans takes nine months.
Nine months is a really long time. Especially when you consider that most other mammals have a shorter gestational period. Putting aside the physical reasons, I started thinking about the theoretical reasons. I came to the realization that perhaps the gestational period of nine months is necessary because of the way we as humans are hard wired.
Most people I know don't cope with change well. Even those of us who are used to a constant state of change, still need some time to acclimatize ourselves to our changing situations. Even as Imas, we get comfortable in our routines and a change to those routines is an affront to our very person. I know from my personal experiences that while my life largely revolves around my husband and daughter, I treasure my personal time and even missing that personal time to sleep because I'm sick is frustrating!
I think about the other Imas I know and reflect on how they respond to changes in their schedules; usually it's not pretty. Part of that, is because we recognize the importance of schedules in our kids' lives. My daughter in general is a happy-go-lucky kid and very easy going but when her schedule is disrupted, she becomes prone to melt downs, often at the most inopportune times. Part of that is because we use these schedules to keep our lives predictable.
Keeping this in mind, can you imagine how most women would react if we had a gestational period of only 3 or 6 months?!?! We need those 9 months to internalize the changes that are coming to our lives. Over the course of 9 months, the baby grows and demands more of your attention; you need to be more aware of your activities and your limitations. Because we don't sit on eggs, our growing baby demands your attention in a very personal, very upfront way! (Maybe all that kicking has a reason; "Hey, think about me!")
I've noticed that the growth of your baby allows women to slowly adjust themselves to the idea of being pregnant and having another human being completely dependent on them. Being pregnant is the epitome of dependency, they become less dependent on you from birth on! This adjustment period gives you time to come to terms with the fact that no matter what pregnancy number you are on, change is coming to your life. If this is your first pregnancy, you'll be spreading your attention between your husband and baby instead of lavishing it all on him. If this is your second or third (etc) pregnancy, you'll be dividing your attention further between kids and your husband.
I think that many Imas are a little blase about their second pregnancy. We think "Oh, we know what is going on" and "We have other, more important things to focus on, like the kid outside my body". Every pregnancy is different, every child is different and even while they are still in the womb, kids need attention. Even if it's just to help us adjust to splitting our attention between two kids instead of just one.
Maybe it's just me, but I've decided to enjoy this pregnancy and allow myself the time to get used to the changes coming.
Nine months is a really long time. Especially when you consider that most other mammals have a shorter gestational period. Putting aside the physical reasons, I started thinking about the theoretical reasons. I came to the realization that perhaps the gestational period of nine months is necessary because of the way we as humans are hard wired.
Most people I know don't cope with change well. Even those of us who are used to a constant state of change, still need some time to acclimatize ourselves to our changing situations. Even as Imas, we get comfortable in our routines and a change to those routines is an affront to our very person. I know from my personal experiences that while my life largely revolves around my husband and daughter, I treasure my personal time and even missing that personal time to sleep because I'm sick is frustrating!
I think about the other Imas I know and reflect on how they respond to changes in their schedules; usually it's not pretty. Part of that, is because we recognize the importance of schedules in our kids' lives. My daughter in general is a happy-go-lucky kid and very easy going but when her schedule is disrupted, she becomes prone to melt downs, often at the most inopportune times. Part of that is because we use these schedules to keep our lives predictable.
Keeping this in mind, can you imagine how most women would react if we had a gestational period of only 3 or 6 months?!?! We need those 9 months to internalize the changes that are coming to our lives. Over the course of 9 months, the baby grows and demands more of your attention; you need to be more aware of your activities and your limitations. Because we don't sit on eggs, our growing baby demands your attention in a very personal, very upfront way! (Maybe all that kicking has a reason; "Hey, think about me!")
I've noticed that the growth of your baby allows women to slowly adjust themselves to the idea of being pregnant and having another human being completely dependent on them. Being pregnant is the epitome of dependency, they become less dependent on you from birth on! This adjustment period gives you time to come to terms with the fact that no matter what pregnancy number you are on, change is coming to your life. If this is your first pregnancy, you'll be spreading your attention between your husband and baby instead of lavishing it all on him. If this is your second or third (etc) pregnancy, you'll be dividing your attention further between kids and your husband.
I think that many Imas are a little blase about their second pregnancy. We think "Oh, we know what is going on" and "We have other, more important things to focus on, like the kid outside my body". Every pregnancy is different, every child is different and even while they are still in the womb, kids need attention. Even if it's just to help us adjust to splitting our attention between two kids instead of just one.
Maybe it's just me, but I've decided to enjoy this pregnancy and allow myself the time to get used to the changes coming.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
A Quick Apology
I know I said I was going to post our travel log to my blog, but I completely forgot about the fact that I write it on my iPhone using BlogPress. That's all fine and dandy except that I don't have internet on my phone here to upload it! Now I've got to transcribe it into Word! So, please bear with me while I do that for the first two days.
Also, a suggestion was made to me that we might be better suited if this blog was not accessible to everyone. I've switched it to a private "invitation only" blog and sent out emails to the first round of people to read it but if you think I've forgotten someone, please email me and I'll send them an invite.
That's about it for now! Back to transcribing! :)
Also, a suggestion was made to me that we might be better suited if this blog was not accessible to everyone. I've switched it to a private "invitation only" blog and sent out emails to the first round of people to read it but if you think I've forgotten someone, please email me and I'll send them an invite.
That's about it for now! Back to transcribing! :)
Monday, February 1, 2010
Thoughts on Doctors' Offices
Today I sat in doctors' waiting rooms for approximately 1.5 hours. In addition to giving me a lot of time to chase A around (who thought there was nothing better than running around laughing hysterically), it gave me time to think.
I realized that for me at least, when I see my western medicine practioners, I wait and I wait a LOT. When I see my eastern or natural medicine practioners, I wait very little. The amount of time I spend with both sets is similar but how that time is appropriated is where they differ. My eastern or natural medicine practioners make you wait very little but spend a great deal of time with answering questions or building a doctor-patient bond. My western medicine practioners make me wait a long time and then seem to hardly spend any time with me.
While I do believe that the level of care a doctor can provide is somewhat predicated on how they know you, I think that this schism allows us to see insight into the belief systems behind both types of medicine.
Western medicine believes in a "magic pill" philosphy. "Take this advil and your headache will go away." It removes the patient and doctor from the picture entirely. You could replace the doctor with an automaton that discerns symptoms and then compares them with known ailments. The patient is merely the vessel for the ailment and has no input other than to state his or her symptoms. This belief system puts the reins in the doctor's hands and removes the patient from the decision making process. While at times patients are technically given choices about their care, more often than not, they are guilted or made to feel that one decision is strongly preferred over the other. This is done subconsiously by the doctor in many cases who wants to sway the patient to make the decision he or she feels is best.
Eastern or natural medicines are more centered on the patient's mental status. Practioners try to diagnose the underlying problem, not just deal with the symptoms. "You are having headaches but when do they occur? What's going on around you? What's your mental state like?" For doctors of this belief system, there is a delicate balance between treating a symptom and dealing with the underlying problem. I also believe there is a strong connection between the patient's belief in the remedy given and it's effectiveness. When a patient has bonded with his or her doctor and feels they are not prescribing just any drug but the right one for them, the placebo affect is added to the effectiveness of the drug. This belief system also places a high value on being comfortable in and knowing your own body. I know from personal experience that it took me a while to learn that my seasonal allergies were a natural reaction and that medication wouldn't help. However, I can now easily discern when they turned into a more serious sinus infection!
After all that, I will say there is a time and place for everything. Western medicine saved my grandmother's life and gave her the chance to not only see my wedding but meet at least one great-grandchild! Eastern medicine gave me the opportunity to overcome sciatica awful enough to confine me to bed without using drugs. My advice to everyone reading this is: "Educate yourself about the possibilities".
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
I realized that for me at least, when I see my western medicine practioners, I wait and I wait a LOT. When I see my eastern or natural medicine practioners, I wait very little. The amount of time I spend with both sets is similar but how that time is appropriated is where they differ. My eastern or natural medicine practioners make you wait very little but spend a great deal of time with answering questions or building a doctor-patient bond. My western medicine practioners make me wait a long time and then seem to hardly spend any time with me.
While I do believe that the level of care a doctor can provide is somewhat predicated on how they know you, I think that this schism allows us to see insight into the belief systems behind both types of medicine.
Western medicine believes in a "magic pill" philosphy. "Take this advil and your headache will go away." It removes the patient and doctor from the picture entirely. You could replace the doctor with an automaton that discerns symptoms and then compares them with known ailments. The patient is merely the vessel for the ailment and has no input other than to state his or her symptoms. This belief system puts the reins in the doctor's hands and removes the patient from the decision making process. While at times patients are technically given choices about their care, more often than not, they are guilted or made to feel that one decision is strongly preferred over the other. This is done subconsiously by the doctor in many cases who wants to sway the patient to make the decision he or she feels is best.
Eastern or natural medicines are more centered on the patient's mental status. Practioners try to diagnose the underlying problem, not just deal with the symptoms. "You are having headaches but when do they occur? What's going on around you? What's your mental state like?" For doctors of this belief system, there is a delicate balance between treating a symptom and dealing with the underlying problem. I also believe there is a strong connection between the patient's belief in the remedy given and it's effectiveness. When a patient has bonded with his or her doctor and feels they are not prescribing just any drug but the right one for them, the placebo affect is added to the effectiveness of the drug. This belief system also places a high value on being comfortable in and knowing your own body. I know from personal experience that it took me a while to learn that my seasonal allergies were a natural reaction and that medication wouldn't help. However, I can now easily discern when they turned into a more serious sinus infection!
After all that, I will say there is a time and place for everything. Western medicine saved my grandmother's life and gave her the chance to not only see my wedding but meet at least one great-grandchild! Eastern medicine gave me the opportunity to overcome sciatica awful enough to confine me to bed without using drugs. My advice to everyone reading this is: "Educate yourself about the possibilities".
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Blah, blah, blah...
I've noticed that most blogs start off with a "About Me" post. I think that most of the people reading this, (for the meanwhile at least!) know me well enough that that I think a post "About Me" would be silly.
That being said, here is a "little" bit about me!
The oldest of six kids, I exhibit all the classic first child tendencies. I'm a leader, very active, try to take care of everyone around me and am very opinionated. Homeschooled from 5-12 grades, I am a strong believer in bringing up kids to learn by osmosis; exposing them to new things constantly and subtly encouraging them to ask questions and be curious.
Married to a wonderful husband for 4.5 years (how time flies!), Ima to a beautiful little girl with another baby on the way, living an observant Jewish life; my life is pretty good.
Originally a democrat, I now have decided libertarian leanings. (This is after seeing first hand how people are lazy and manipulate the system to milk everything they possibly can from it.)
Not opposed to western medicine but with a strong preference for natural remedies, I have learned the best road when it comes to this, is a middle one. Combining the best of both worlds means that everyone wins!
I work in Human Resources, doing all the paperwork behind new hires, terminations, managing benefits, recruiting, leave of absences etc. My prior experience as a recruiter is what led me to lose faith in the democratic system.
That's me in a nutshell!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
That being said, here is a "little" bit about me!
The oldest of six kids, I exhibit all the classic first child tendencies. I'm a leader, very active, try to take care of everyone around me and am very opinionated. Homeschooled from 5-12 grades, I am a strong believer in bringing up kids to learn by osmosis; exposing them to new things constantly and subtly encouraging them to ask questions and be curious.
Married to a wonderful husband for 4.5 years (how time flies!), Ima to a beautiful little girl with another baby on the way, living an observant Jewish life; my life is pretty good.
Originally a democrat, I now have decided libertarian leanings. (This is after seeing first hand how people are lazy and manipulate the system to milk everything they possibly can from it.)
Not opposed to western medicine but with a strong preference for natural remedies, I have learned the best road when it comes to this, is a middle one. Combining the best of both worlds means that everyone wins!
I work in Human Resources, doing all the paperwork behind new hires, terminations, managing benefits, recruiting, leave of absences etc. My prior experience as a recruiter is what led me to lose faith in the democratic system.
That's me in a nutshell!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Saturday, January 30, 2010
A New Beginning
This is in some ways a new beginning for me. I'm not a blogger by nature, but I do love to write and have been inspired by another blog I read, FrumDoula.
I haven't totally mapped out how I see this blog playing out but it'll probably be a big mish mash of Ima stuff, Jewish stuff, and other random thoughts. (Kinda like me, come to think of it!)
Hope everyone enjoys reading it as much as I enjoy writing!
I haven't totally mapped out how I see this blog playing out but it'll probably be a big mish mash of Ima stuff, Jewish stuff, and other random thoughts. (Kinda like me, come to think of it!)
Hope everyone enjoys reading it as much as I enjoy writing!