As the end of my time as an Ima-to-one nears and the beginning of my time as an Ima-to-two approaches, I've been doing a lot of thinking. I was very uncomfortable the other day, (this is a frequent event recently) and in my frustration, I asked myself why gestation in humans takes nine months.
Nine months is a really long time. Especially when you consider that most other mammals have a shorter gestational period. Putting aside the physical reasons, I started thinking about the theoretical reasons. I came to the realization that perhaps the gestational period of nine months is necessary because of the way we as humans are hard wired.
Most people I know don't cope with change well. Even those of us who are used to a constant state of change, still need some time to acclimatize ourselves to our changing situations. Even as Imas, we get comfortable in our routines and a change to those routines is an affront to our very person. I know from my personal experiences that while my life largely revolves around my husband and daughter, I treasure my personal time and even missing that personal time to sleep because I'm sick is frustrating!
I think about the other Imas I know and reflect on how they respond to changes in their schedules; usually it's not pretty. Part of that, is because we recognize the importance of schedules in our kids' lives. My daughter in general is a happy-go-lucky kid and very easy going but when her schedule is disrupted, she becomes prone to melt downs, often at the most inopportune times. Part of that is because we use these schedules to keep our lives predictable.
Keeping this in mind, can you imagine how most women would react if we had a gestational period of only 3 or 6 months?!?! We need those 9 months to internalize the changes that are coming to our lives. Over the course of 9 months, the baby grows and demands more of your attention; you need to be more aware of your activities and your limitations. Because we don't sit on eggs, our growing baby demands your attention in a very personal, very upfront way! (Maybe all that kicking has a reason; "Hey, think about me!")
I've noticed that the growth of your baby allows women to slowly adjust themselves to the idea of being pregnant and having another human being completely dependent on them. Being pregnant is the epitome of dependency, they become less dependent on you from birth on! This adjustment period gives you time to come to terms with the fact that no matter what pregnancy number you are on, change is coming to your life. If this is your first pregnancy, you'll be spreading your attention between your husband and baby instead of lavishing it all on him. If this is your second or third (etc) pregnancy, you'll be dividing your attention further between kids and your husband.
I think that many Imas are a little blase about their second pregnancy. We think "Oh, we know what is going on" and "We have other, more important things to focus on, like the kid outside my body". Every pregnancy is different, every child is different and even while they are still in the womb, kids need attention. Even if it's just to help us adjust to splitting our attention between two kids instead of just one.
Maybe it's just me, but I've decided to enjoy this pregnancy and allow myself the time to get used to the changes coming.
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