Life Changes and other stuff...

Life is complicated.  Life is also unpredictable.  I think that sometimes we start to take the blessings in our life for granted and G-d decides to shake things up a bit to make us understand that we need to see every blessing in our life for the beautiful thing that it is.

Maybe a little background would be helpful.  Two months ago, we moved our family out of the tiny apartment we owned and into my in-laws house.  We rented out our apartment and the idea was that this way we'd be able to save money and be able to buy a house.  This was shortly after our son, D was born.  My in-laws are fabulous people, but it was hard to be in someone else's house.  Just when I started to feel like I was okay with the situation (my MIL and I figured out how to work together in the kitchen etc), we got hit with a doozy of an announcement, that I was being laid off.

The stress of looking for a job is one that most people experience at some point of their life.  In my experience, looking for a job is hard enough when you have one to leave, but being in the position of needing a job and not having one while you are looking, is even more stressful.  I'm a worrier by nature and there is a lot to worry about when it comes to looking for a job;

• will people respond to your emails/phone calls, 
• will you get interviews, 
• how do you look, 
• how do you sound, 
• did you prepare enough, 
• are you capable of doing the job, 
• what will they say when you tell them you need to leave early for religious reasons, 
• will you like working there, 
• are the benefits what you need, 
• is the compensation what you need etc!

Quite honestly, my first reaction was to flip out.  I was stressed and super upset.  My second reaction was also to flip out!  And yet, being in the position of being laid off for the first time, I find myself calming down and breathing deep.  My husband has been extremely supportive and helpful, which has done huge things for my stress levels.  And I read a blog of a friend, frumdoula.blogspot.com, who wrote about being able to realize we aren't in control.  G-d is.

Part of the magic of being a parent to a young child is that they are able to see G-d everywhere.  They see and understand that a butterfly is a miracle, that G-d is giving us a blessing in the form of a summer shower and that slowing down for a snuggle with them is often the best medicine you can be prescribed.  Our daughter, A, has noticed that I'm more stressed out and has taken to giving me random hugs.  When I pick up D, he always seems to be smiling that special smile, the one he reserves for me.  And with their help, I am able to take a deep breath and remember that G-d has a plan for us.  He is in the driver's seat, so I can enjoy the scenery with the kids.